The twins were in their high chairs. Dee was lovingly drooling on and softly murmuring "dah dah" to a green plastic spoon. Bex was so drowsy that he was in a trance, staring out the kitchen window. I was sitting in a kitchen chair facing the twins and a groggy Bug was in my lap, snuggling in to my chest. I could feel her hot little hands held tightly to my back, sometimes gently patting. I sat there running my fingers through her wispy blond hair that smelled like grapefruit and quietly singing along to a Nichole Nordeman cd playing in the background,
"Not well-traveled, not well-read.
Not well-to-do or well-bred.
Just wanna hear instead
'well done good and faithful one'."
I joke about the chaos that goes on in this house, and while exhausting and sometimes trying, I love it. But this was a rare moment of serenity for us all.
I started to reflect on how blessed I am.
Bexie's face was so tranquil, so fair, so dear to me. My eyes were fixated on him. Something snapped his reverie and his eyes met mine. Recognition flooded his angelic face and his serious expression broke into a smile that unmistakeably conveyed his utter adoration for me. I was literally surrounded by love. Engulfed in it. I thought my heart might burst.
I'm passionately addicted to this life I'm living.
That is a gift from God. The whole thing is a collection of small gifts from God. It was a gift to be holding my daughter in my arms. A gift to watch my twins before me. A gift to be conscious of the moment that was unfolding. A gift to have enough sense to cherish it. A gift to see the bigger picture. That though, yes, my life could improve in some areas, though my life may change next year, tomorrow, next hour, where I am right now, this second, is perfection.
What an oasis to wallow in.