Friday, December 11, 2009

Top Ten Ways NOT to Take A Christmas Card Photo

10.  Use props.





















9. Let any joey fly the coop whenever they see fit.




















8.  Then let them come back whenever they decide they're good 'n ready.





















7. Allow yawning, sidelong glances and pointing.





















6. Use a furry, singing and dancing, santa-cap-wearing bulldog toy as an attention-getter that is 4 feet above the camera lens and is slowly losing battery power.





















5.  Give your youngest daughter impromptu flamenco dancing lessons AND scream SMILE! so loudly it hurts your son's ears.


















4. Scream SMILE NOW OR YOU'RE ALL GETTING A TIME OUT! in such a threatening manner as to make all subjects look confused, coerced or despondent.





















3. Expect everyone to look at the camera at the same moment.


















2. Incite clapping.  (Incitement can include, but is not limited to, actions such as frowning at camera's display screen, saying the word "milk" and the cat meowing in the background.)

























And the #1 way not to take a Christmas card photo:
Do NOT Photoshop-merge each subject's most presentable face into one photo as shown below.





29 comments:

from our front porch... said...

OMG, how many hours did this go on!!!
I love each and every picture! Just print them all out and send in random cards.I Promise, they will be the most loved cards!
Too cute. Thanks for my daily dose :)
Misha

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I would make a collage out of all of the pictures. They are all so cute and show the kids as they really are.

You did a good job with the photoshopped one.

Muthering Heights said...

LOL, I LOVED the outtakes!!

How do you photoshop merge them??

Dandy said...

This post was hilarious! Seriously hilarious! Did you seriously photoshop that last picture? I can't even tell. Really?

WhiteStone said...

That gave me a giggle moment. LOL

Elle Bee said...

Actually what I did was slice off the 1/3 of the picture where Bug is, then glue on a different 1/3 photo of Bug where she was looking at the camera. You can see her chair is the teensiest bit higher and the spindle on the banister right to the left of her is a tiny bit thinner--that's where the two pictures merge. It came out well, but the problem is that the merged photo is very pixelated. When I try to order it on snapfish it gives me a low quality warning. Not sure why or how to fix that?

CottageGirl said...

LOL!!!! What an assignment!!! Is that why the professionals charge so much???

All of the pics are adorable ... love your PS skills! Developing pics SOMETIMES have proven to be a treacherous thing for me if I send them out to be developed and I've altered them in some way.

Good luck!!!

teamkyte said...

LOL!!!! We tried so hard to get a "nice" picture this year...I have decided we are not a "nice looking" family and I went with the one of us by the car with the Christmas tree ;-)...I do not have photoshop :-(

Lisa said...

sssooooooooooooooo cute...

Meghan said...

You're so crazy...and you crack me up! Love this post!

Alice said...

They still look incredibly cute! Little Dan kept waving at the screen saying "hello baby!!!!"

They have a fan.

Susan said...

This was a must-read for me today! I'll be doing this tomorrow with the 5 grandkids...oy vey! It is NOT fun! We usually do it in front of the tree, so there is the added excitement of ornaments being knocked off, or the whole tree toppling over! I'll let you know how it went. Last year I think I got 10 usable pics out of a couple hundred shots. I'm soooo glad I'm not a professional child photographer!

Your joeys look positively adorable! Funny, I was just going to suggest the Photoshop merge feature and then it was the next picture! Good job, Elle!

Dana said...

I say whatever it takes to get it done! :) You are too funny and the kiddos are getting too big! Love you!

monica said...

Wow how that is a great photoshop picture! All the pictures are great pictures and could use all them all!

Buckeroomama said...

That was too funny!!

I thought your PS'ed photo turned out really well, though. :)

Christina said...

I bet you were good and sweaty when that was all done! Oh my goodness, I have a great admiration for photographers of children these days. Mine are so uncooperative lately.
They're awfully cute and funny to look at in the end, though. :)
Here's is an alternative #1 way not to take a photo for a Christmas card. It is...not to take a photo for a Christmas card! That's the route I'm headed this year. haha

AJ said...

Hello my dear, the best way to make your picture bigger is to "make it bigger" in photoshop (works in Publisher too), with the original pics. Scale them up to be like 20" wide and ta da! A big pic!

I think you did a great job!
I too find taking pictures of kids to be sweaty work. Someday, they will just sit there and smile... then you will miss the process!

Debbie said...

Hilarious!

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Oh I remember doing this one year!! Cute pictures. The last one is a keeper!!

Flat Creek Farm said...

They are all priceless! How can you even pick just one? Love them all! -Tammy

Flat Creek Farm said...

They are all priceless! How can you even pick just one? Love them all! -Tammy

Mr. M said...

Fantastic...!!!Forget Christmas Cards...if they aren't reading your blog they shouldn't get one, and if they are, they don't need one. :-D

Ingrid said...

LOL, love it! That was great! Guess what Elle? It doesn't get better as they get older! :) I'm trying to get mine to let me take theirs and all I get is fussing. I'm going to have to resort to bribes which I hate to do. :)

Did you really photoshop that last photo?
~ingrid

curegirl0421 said...

Ha! I had to bribe my now-13-year-old with a sucker when she was 3. It worked, but you can still see her blue tongue in the picture! :)

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

LOL Been there. Done that!

Kris said...

oh I love this post so much! love love!

Susan said...

Elle, here's mine:

http://bearswampreflections.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-portraits-101.html

Enjoy!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

hey elle bee, i can't respond to your emails! you need to enable your email! and i am behind by like 800 emails so if you email me, it may be awhile before i get back to you, but i will get back to you. and your kids are adorable.

Rural Revival said...

I think it turned out rather well! The Artist is a pro for this kind of thing. I only noticed the chair, but only after you mentioned it. What a bunch of cuties!! Merry Christmas indeed!