Twin Entropic Forces (With Bat Sonar)

Seek and destroy.

That is their mission.

Their one-track-minds have homing devices

that can detect well-organized, tidy drawers and cabinets.

Not unlike bat sonar,

this homing device leads them to the

source of order with uncanny accuracy.

Once there, in a madcap frenzy,

(and with little regard for their mother's

neurotic need to maintain some (false) sense

of control), they create disorder.

Allow me to further explain this using

the laws of thermodynamics.

In particular, the 2nd law of thermodynamics.

Trust me, it will make perfect sense.

You see, the twins are thermodynamic.

(They are warm-bodied, and boy, are they in motion).

Specifically, they are entropic.

Stick with me here.

Entropy is a measure of disorder in the universe

or a measure of the unavailability of a

system’s energy to do work.

To spell it out, the twins create disorder.

I am the system.

I have no more energy and

am unavailable to do the work

required to clean up this disorder.

See? I told you. Perfect sense.

In 1865, Rudolf Clausius, a German physicist, stated that "the entropy of the universe tends to a maximum". Hmmm. I venture to say that we have not yet reached maximum entropy in this house. (Does this thought strike fear into my heart? Somewhat. Deep breath. Read on).

Furthermore, the second law of thermodynamics holds that as usable energy is irretrievably lost, disorganization, randomness and chaos increase. I ask you, dear reader,

what are the implications of this in my universe? Will disorganization, randomness and chaos increase as my usable energy is irretrievably lost?

You betcha. Is this the kind of disorganization, randomness and chaos that years from now I'll look back on and wax wistful about? You better believe it.

But in the meantime,

Jay installs child-safety cabinet and drawer locks.

Surely child-safety locks will not dampen

the twin entropic forces of Bex & Dee.

Surely they will use their bat sonar to

seek and destroy once again.

But, for the moment,

my zip-lock bags remain safe.

I have regained control!

(For the next 2 minutes or so. I see Bex

and Dee heading for the china cabinet.)

I'm glad we had this talk.

Thank you and goodnight.

Elle Bee

P.S. You should know that my memories

from my physics classes have long since

bought the farm, and that I may have

loosely interpreted the 2nd law of

thermodynamics just a teensy weensy bit

to mean whatever I please.

But everything I said about bat sonar?

Completely legit.